August 4 2008

I hate to admit it, but I’m at Starbucks for the second time today … and it is only just past noon. It’s not that I’ve suddenly come to like the charbroiled taste of their brew, but rather that I’m in Bowie, Maryland and there really isn’t anywhere else to hang out. I don’t know that I’ve ever spent as much time in Starbucks as I have the last 24 hours decompressing after the surprise celebrations for my parents 40 th anniversary. It’s kind of like another world — Starbucks, not marriage —  or at least another country with its own language. I’m sorry. but where is a small coffee “tall?” And I think I just heard someone ordering some sort of drink that, in between its banana crisped French cinnamon toast-iness might have room for a bit of coffee flavor. But I won’t waste anymore time on Starbucks. I’m sure thousands of people have already tackled it.

More exciting than spending more time than I ever have in a Starbucks is that I have managed to take three whole days off from exercise, perhaps  for the first time ever in my life (broken pelvises and torn menisci aside). My exercise addiction might be on a downswing. Although I did  play some badass badminton — did you ever know this was the proper spelling of badminton? I always thought ‘badmitton’  — Saturday afternoon. And I’m not ashamed to admit I woke up Sunday morning with some (very) sore butt muscles and what, if I developed a fondness for regularly engaging in badminton, could develop into badminton wrist, the oft-forgotten younger cousin of tennis elbow. Evidently biking 20 hours a week does nothing for you on the backyard badminton court. And of course, even though barefoot, I still managed to get a ginormous blister on the ball of  each foot. Does anyone else have feet that are as wimpy as mine?

Still sitting in the Starbucks in the Freestate Mall in beautiful Bowie, Maryland.

Did you know abalone have five asses?

Oh, I’m hiding from my personal shopper again. Mattie from Celine called yesterday and I was driving back to my parents’ house from the anniversary party. After having explained to her the last time we chatted — about three months ago — that I was building a house and my clothing budget was tied up in heated floors and a fancy gas range, I thought (hoped) I had heard the last from her … at least until some publisher realizes my book is the greatest travel guide to ever be invented. She’s just way, way, way too good at her job. Which was just fine and dandy when I had money to buy cute dresses and bags. But now that my checking and savings accounts together aren’t that far off from the model year of my 4Runner, I can have no cute dresses.  I can’t even have any ugly dresses (not that Celine has any ugly dresses). So I can’t talk to her. Ostensibly she just called to check in on me, but I’m sure that by the end of our conversation, she’d have a minimum of four dresses and five bags headed to me on consignment. And with my ability to say no to a  cute dress Fed Ex’d to my house all the way from Bal Harbour (that’s like a 2,000-some mile trip … I can’t just send the poor thing back without giving it serious consideration, can I?) even less than my ability to say no to  a mostly-raw chocolate chip cookie or a 100-mile bike ride I think the safest way to protect my potential heated floors is to just not answer her calls. (I’ve actually got ‘Celine’ in my cell phone contact list … for those times when I used to have cute dress emergencies.) And then to not return her messages. In the spirit of contributing to the construction costs of the house soon to be in-progress, I’m not only crossing my heart and hoping to die that a publisher will go for my book proposal (if you happen to be a publisher, talk to Lauren Galit Agency) but I’m also clearing out my closet. So far however, I haven’t found too much of a second-market for fabulous worth-more-than-my-car dresses and bags. Anyone interested in some size 40 and 42 Celine, Valentino, Philosophy by Alberto Ferretti dresses and handbags, email me. Some items — a brown medium-sized Celine bag, a Valentino Garabaldi beaded fringe horsehair tote — do require the successful buyer to pass an interview. Email if you’d like to apply.

No longer at Starbucks in Bowie.